The action starts at 7:30pm. Come out to Skate Daze and have a great time! $8 presale tickets, $10 at the door.  Kids 8 and under get in free.

Check in: 10am-12:30
1 Rider= $15 2 Riders= $25
Accepting Hand until: 7pm.

Starts at Joe Banana’s
1022 S 10th St Omaha, NE 68108
(402) 346-7227
10th & Pacific

In between bars: Papa Joes, Missouri Valley, IA
Vortmanns Corral, Beebeetown, IA
Mainstreet Bar, Blair, NE
There will be Raffles, Prizes, and Give-aways.

The day of the bout I woke up strangely refreshed. It’s odd because I didn’t dream of derby, I ALWAYS dream of derby. From there, the day just got stranger the closer it got to bout time. Between my healthy breakfast not being my special order and not realizing it until I got home, losing tickets, and stepping on a rusty nail, the afternoon didn’t go so well.

Soon it was finally time to start my transformation. We were told to “camp it up”, so I went for it. Dark eye make-up, and sparkles glued to my face… it was actually a lot of fun. My daughter helped with advice on my transformation. Honestly I think she was more nervous and excited than me at this point.

On our way to the bout we picked up my friend who is actually a Lowdown Lucy, (I’m on the Victoria’s Secret Service). We stopped at Walgreens to buy some colorful duct tape to keep the Velcro from our pads latching onto other players. We were in our uniforms and received some crazy looks from people. It was actually nice to have her in the car for the drive to the facility. As we approached, both of us could feel the butterflies and nerves starting to build. It was almost time!

We got in and got settled. I chit chatted with the girls on my team and pulled out my pads, helmet and skates to start getting ready. Before I got my pads on, I helped my team mates write their numbers on the duct tape and stick it to their sleeves. When I got back I got my knee pads on, my skates…. but couldn’t find my elbow pads. I asked the ladies to check their bags, move their stuff, look around… I dumped my bag out completely… NOTHING. I couldn’t find them. I got nervous, mad, worried… WTF!?! They were just here!! Was this hazing? No way… not on a game day. I sent a friend out to my car to get my one spare elbow pad and had to borrow another team mate’s extra elbow pad. Only thing is, she is ½ my size and it started cutting of circulation the minute I got it on. Oh noes!

We got our butts out on the track for warm ups and to get used to rolling over the lights, wires and rugs etc. My nerves were relatively calm and the feeling of having to pee came and went in waves. It never fails, when I’m nervous or excited I feel like I have to pee. After warm ups we went back to our rooms and I had to take the elbow pad off, I had no feeling in that arm. It was then that I saw one of my pads. HOLY HELL! After lifting up one of my team mate’s bags, I found the other one!! YAY! (Note to self, it helps to pick up bags, not move them around.) I got myself all put together and watched as friends and family and strangers lined up to get seated. I listened to the captains, theirs thoughts and strategies… the roster, and before I knew it… it was time to line up. This is it!

In the backroom we lined up… we could hear the announcer out in the rink working the crowd. My nerves were so bad, I had to focus on the designs on the wall, remind myself to breath, and I did a pee pee dance because the urge to piss was overwhelming. I didn’t have to; I hadn’t drunk anything since 11:00 am and was running on empty.
Before I knew it, the announcer was calling my name, all I could think of was, don’t trip over the lights and don’t fall!!! Stop stop stop!! Oh shit, I didn’t stop fast enough… back it up, get in line. The roar of the crowd was amazing, and energy in the room was infectious.

The bout itself was fun, confusing at times and more fun. It’s hard to concentrate on everything all at once, but I got out there, blocked some blockers, got a few good hits on some Jammers, and did one gnarly belly flop on the rink. (blush) I accidentally hit one of my jammers that was taking a whip, but realized she was mine before I hit her too hard… still, I felt really dumb. And I stayed out of the penalty box… amazingly. And my foot where the nail went in, didn’t bother me until much later that night.

I can’t say I looked good out there in the slightest, but I was out there, I DID IT! I fucking DID IT! We lost by 2 points, but it was a great game, a great learning experience and a great bonding moment for us noobs and our teams. I’ll never forget that night. Ever! And I’ll never forget how proud my daughter looked as she slapped my hand as we skated our lap. My brother even looked proud.

Soon we were stretching and the newbie coach skated over and slowly opened her notes. She announced to everyone that 6 girls were getting placed and she explained my situation. I was still getting placed because I’ve met all the requirements for attendance etc, and I had missed the last testing because I was sick. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, “You are going to have to work hard to pass your test tonight”. I choked on a butterfly. She then proceeded… “On VSS, Jenifer, Denise and Rachel”. We squealed in delight and I think my head exploded… YES YES YES!!! “On L.D.L. Regan, Ashlee and Stephanie”. More squeals and clapping and congratulations!!! We were all happy and a little sad; happy to be placed, sad to be divided up… but feeling awesome because in all actuality we are one big team… one big family!




We then did our warm ups and commenced with testing. I did pretty well at the whips and pushes considering I had only done them once before. Bernice took her time with me and helped me with my technique, and advised me on how to apply it in a pack situation. Bernice was very helpful indeed. I was tested on blocking, pacing, and skating in a pack with obstacles. I was informed my foot work had greatly improved since the last time. YAY!

Then came time for the hitting drills; I mentally prepared for this moment. I wasn’t nervous until I was paired up with Molly Massacre. I absolutely love and look up to her, don’t get me wrong, but have you seen this women play? Massacre is right! I tried very hard not to let my nerves get the best of me, and we went for it. I got a few good shoulder hits in, I didn’t knock her down, but I moved her… which is really something. She hit back and with some of her hits, to my ribs I’d let out a squeal, or a grunt just from the sheer force. I couldn’t help but giggle because I had no control over it. I didn’t fall down either, which again, says something.

We then went on with the hip checks. HOLY HELL! That was pain I had never felt before! You’d think with all my padding in that area I’d be good to go… not so much really. I got a few good hits in and only fell once, mostly because my skates got tangled… but I felt pretty good about it. I was exhausted after that practice and slept like a baby once I got home.

Waiting to find out how I did on my test felt like an eternity… but soon I got the email. I’m saving it forever because the words rocked my world (In a good way of course). I DID IT! I passed with ease!

I look back at when I first started and I see how far I have come. I have seen a lot of girls come and go, all of them much smaller and physically fit than me, and I’m still here. I’m proving to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to, I’ve regained my strength, physically, mentally and I feel like I’m myself again.

As for myself, I have mad respect for the women on each team and feel I can learn a lot from each of them in different capacities. There are women I’d like to be on their team, to learn their strategies, techniques etc. And other women whom I’d love to play against, to learn how to react to their strategies and techniques. I still have to pass my skills test (since I was sick the last testing day) to be able to scrimmage with my team, but I get to take that on Monday too so it’s going to be a very, very, very exciting and nerve rattling day! So what’s it going to be? Victoria’s Secret Service? Or Lowdown Lucy???

Bands:
Scrapple
Moses Prey
Vago
The Sharks
Cursed By Moonlight
Split Open

When: Saturday April 18th
Where: Sokol Underground
2234 South 13th Street
Omaha, NE 68108

Time: Doors open at 6:00pm, show starts at 7:00pm
How Much: $10
Buy presale tickets here: http://www.omaharollergirls.org/

Want presale tickets? Buy them here: http://www.omaharollergirls.org/

Want presale tickets? Buy them here:

http://www.omaharollergirls.org/

I trolled through that list, looking for inspiration and every time I thought I had something… I looked and someone else already had it, or it was too close to another girls name. Damn it!

So I set to the task of asking my friends for help, all of them are creative types, artists, writers, illustrators, ad and marketing peeps… you’d think they would just be flowing with ideas. At first, no, but soon the names started streaming in. They used famous names and contorted them into something more brutal, they played with phrases and soon I had a list of over 100 names. After checking them against the database I was left with a small handful of decent names. The one’s that really struck me as funny and appropriate were all taken.

I ended up going with my first attempt at a name, my daughter loved it when I first said it. It’s something she can pronounce, and is still intimidating enough. (I’m not listing it here, since it takes 2 months for your name to be accepted and registered.) So my work is done, it just feels strange to have this other name to go by. But it feels so good, to know I stuck with it, and have progressed to this point… I almost feel official!

So, I thought I’d share the names I didn’t go with to help a sista out. Maybe they will inspire you or in the very least, make you giggle a little. Thanks to everyone that helped out, I love you bitches!

Stone Cold Jane Austin

Scary Tyler More

Bruisin’ Sarandon

Samantha Peck-n-Claw

Madame Melee

Jenifer Killy

Michelle O’Bomber

Maim-U Van Doren

Betty Badblood

Shanks a Million

Kim Ka-Smashin’em

Cindy Claw Ford

Diane Lane Change

Elizabeth Hurling

Betty Grapple

Kim Cartel

Lisa Cujo

Nancy Ragin’

Nicole Hitman

Patty Duke It Out

Penelope Cruzin’ For A Bruisin’

Some of the more humorous/ridiculous names were contributed by Jason Malmberg, Max Riffner and Marv Pratt.

Max  suggested:
Meatwalls McBustin
Ms. Murderboobs

Jason suggested:
Cincinatti Cuntsmash LaRue
Betty Twistoffyourclitandfeedittoabeagle

Marv suggested:
Diane von FISTenburg
Sue Ellen Screwing
Susie Q. Stinkfist