Soon we were stretching and the newbie coach skated over and slowly opened her notes. She announced to everyone that 6 girls were getting placed and she explained my situation. I was still getting placed because I’ve met all the requirements for attendance etc, and I had missed the last testing because I was sick. She looked at me straight in the eye and said, “You are going to have to work hard to pass your test tonight”. I choked on a butterfly. She then proceeded… “On VSS, Jenifer, Denise and Rachel”. We squealed in delight and I think my head exploded… YES YES YES!!! “On L.D.L. Regan, Ashlee and Stephanie”. More squeals and clapping and congratulations!!! We were all happy and a little sad; happy to be placed, sad to be divided up… but feeling awesome because in all actuality we are one big team… one big family!




We then did our warm ups and commenced with testing. I did pretty well at the whips and pushes considering I had only done them once before. Bernice took her time with me and helped me with my technique, and advised me on how to apply it in a pack situation. Bernice was very helpful indeed. I was tested on blocking, pacing, and skating in a pack with obstacles. I was informed my foot work had greatly improved since the last time. YAY!

Then came time for the hitting drills; I mentally prepared for this moment. I wasn’t nervous until I was paired up with Molly Massacre. I absolutely love and look up to her, don’t get me wrong, but have you seen this women play? Massacre is right! I tried very hard not to let my nerves get the best of me, and we went for it. I got a few good shoulder hits in, I didn’t knock her down, but I moved her… which is really something. She hit back and with some of her hits, to my ribs I’d let out a squeal, or a grunt just from the sheer force. I couldn’t help but giggle because I had no control over it. I didn’t fall down either, which again, says something.

We then went on with the hip checks. HOLY HELL! That was pain I had never felt before! You’d think with all my padding in that area I’d be good to go… not so much really. I got a few good hits in and only fell once, mostly because my skates got tangled… but I felt pretty good about it. I was exhausted after that practice and slept like a baby once I got home.

Waiting to find out how I did on my test felt like an eternity… but soon I got the email. I’m saving it forever because the words rocked my world (In a good way of course). I DID IT! I passed with ease!

I look back at when I first started and I see how far I have come. I have seen a lot of girls come and go, all of them much smaller and physically fit than me, and I’m still here. I’m proving to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to, I’ve regained my strength, physically, mentally and I feel like I’m myself again.

I instantly had a flash back to my childhood; how I’d lay out on the sidewalk, grass, slide, diving board, deck… anywhere really, and just look up at the nights sky.  I would lay their, taking in the beauty and vastness and how incomprehensible it all is.  I remember feeling so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.  I remember wondering what it would be like to experience weightlessness, I wondered if the moon was really made of cheese and if a man really was trapped inside.  I wondered about aliens and speculated that their HAD to be other life forms in distant galaxies and solar systems… the Universe was just too huge for there not to be.  As I grew up, I joined the Astronomy Club in Jr. High School, and would spend hours looking through my telescope; not just in the neighbors windows either! In high school, I was part of a new hybrid class that was created in conjunction with NASA, called Mars.  Our mission was to plan a trip to Mars, using knowledge we learned in chemistry, physics, astronomy, biology, trig, calc, literature, sociology, civics, etc.  It was the most fun I had in school. We came up with scenarios that NASA hadn’t thought of… and yet I still didn’t think I was smart enough.

This whole time my daughter was still talking, and going on and on about aliens and how she wants to be a scientist, possibly an astronomer so she could figure that mystery out once and for all. “Mommy, do you think aliens are really green? Do you think I’ll become a scientist?”

With that last question my heart broke. When I was her age I dreamed of becoming an astronaut. I read everything space related, got accepted into King Science Center, and begged and begged my parents to let me go to space camp. I was told that I wasn’t strong enough in math to be a scientist… I wasn’t good enough…. I gave up. This is a common theme in my life.

I immediately answered, “You can be anything you want to be, you just need to practice, study hard and really put your mind to it. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!. She smiled so big, and her face just beamed with delight. She opened up her space book and started reading.

I always find myself telling her; “Do your best”, “Shake it off, try again”, “Never say I can’t”, “Always remember I love you, no matter what.”, “Never doubt your ability, you can do anything you put your mind too.”, “Good Job! I’m so proud of you!”, “There is more than one way to skin a cat”, “Think it through, take your time”.

I don’t think enough children hear these things. I know I didn’t growing up, and I’m making sure my daughter does now. I’m also making a point of saying it to any little one I see, struggling, succeeding… trying. And as a matter of fact, I’m making a point to tell adults the same thing. Everyone needs to hear an encouraging word. Everyone! I even catch myself giving pep talks to myself during derby practice.

I’m looking forward to exploring space with my daughter, and anything else that tickles her fancy. Enjoying the journey and anticipating the destination. I know what ever she chooses in life, she will be successful.

Who have you encouraged today?

I play this song every morning when I get to work. No matter if how tired, cranky, or crappy I’m feeling this song really puts life into perspective and more often than not, I have a wonderful day. I thank my friend Andrew Baron for calling me out on my caustic attitude lately, and for sharing his ritual of this song.

For some reason I didn’t think that there were 7 already dead in the store; it just didn’t register. When the Omaha Police Dept. announced that there were 9 dead, I thought the woman misspoke. But only 5 were injured, then it occurred to me, wow, fricken unbelievable!!! Then as more information came out he was up on the third floor, the children’s section, a section I take my daughter for her fancy dresses for various holidays and occasions… unreal!

They haven’t released any names but I can’t help but wonder if I know one of the victims or if any of the victims are children. Omaha is a decent sized city, but there is only about 2 or 3 degrees of separation here. I called my family and my closest friends and they were all ok. One of my close friends was at the mall yesterday with her 2 little one’s and her mother and father but at the time were having lunch at a restaurant near the mall when it happened.

9 is not just a number, its 8 people that won’t be going home to their families, because 1 kid decided to go out in “STYLE”. I’m torn because I hate that the media shows so much on TV, putting ideas into unstable people’s heads, but at the same time, I can’t stop watching, or listening to the radio.

This has happened in various degrees across the US ( I didn’t live too far from Columbine High School), and yes it’s different when it happens close to home and could involve someone you know. I keep hearing “I can’t believe this happened in Omaha, NE like we are immune to such things. I’m shocked yes, but not surprised. Everyday we hear about multiple shootings around the city, mostly done by kids sometimes as young as 13 or 14.

Anyways, I know we get wrapped up in our lives, and feel miserable because things don’t go the way we want; people annoy us, etc. etc. It’s sad that it takes such events to make us realize that things are not so bad and that in fact we are very lucky and fortunate.

My heart goes out to those involved in this senseless act. I may write more as facts are released and my head stops spinning.

I finally dozed off, deep into splendid slumber filled with sweet wonderful dreams.. KABOOM! I swear to god I jumped out of my skin!! My daughter, my cat.. my dogs.. all of us had heart attacks at that very moment. I remember wondering if we were all alive or if we had all just blown up. It took a good 15 minutes to come down from that adrenaline rush, and another 15 minutes to build up the courage to go look in the basement. I never did get back to sleep that night.

I thought perhaps it was just a freak thing, but I was fooling myself. It kept happening. It wasn’t every time the furnace turned on, but when it did decide to do it, it shook the whole house. I called a few HVAC places and they thought perhaps it was “oil canning”. I prayed for oil canning. I researched oil canning.. I waited and listened intently to see if it was oil canning, but no.

The furnace starts, “tick” goes the gas, “grumble” goes the burners, a few moments go by and then “whirrrrr” the blower kicks in, relief.. it didn’t happen.

The furnace cycles a few more times then I hear it, “tick” a few moments go by and then “KABOOM!!!”. My heart jumps in my throat again.

I finally break down and have someone come and look at it. Of course it won’t duplicate the problem but the tech seems to think one of the burners isn’t igniting right away so I get a build up of gas in the furnace and when it does finally ignite it goes “boom”.

“boom”? Silly man. Boom doesn’t even begin to describe it. KABOOM!!!! Doesn’t describe it!

Anyway, I ask if it’s dangerous he said no, not really, but I should really consider getting a new furnace. (ya think?) He then checked on a strange noise he heard.. he shook some of the sheet metal, then opened a weird hatch thingy (I’m so technical) and he pulled out a bird.. A BIRD!! I had a BIRD in my furnace! What next? He set the bird free outside, and explained that I need a cover for the chimney on my roof. Birds sit on it to get warm then pass out from the Co2 and fall in.

FANTASTIC

So I set forth, getting estimates, figuring out how I’m going to pay for it etc. etc. All the while getting classically conditioned to where I have a panic attack the moment I hear that “Tick”. Sleep is but a thing of the past. It progressively gets worse over time.. and it gets to the point I can’t wait any more. (I would have done it sooner but I’m a single mom, with house and car payment etc. etc.)

So today I am having a new furnace and air conditioner put in, thank god for my tax return! I’m hoping for a good nights sleep but that burnt oil smell is making me nauseous and screwing with my sinuses. I can’t really complain though.. at least I know we are not going to blow up.

My dad has had his struggles over the years with his heart failure (Quadruple bypass and valve repair), lung surgery, eye surgeries, kidney transplant etc. But this last battle was most frightening. It started in February when he decided to go out and blow snow during the blizzard. The neighbors found him lying in the driveway next to the snow blower. At that time the doctors didn’t know what the cause was, but a few episodes later and 2.5 months in the hospital they have determined that he has pulmonary hypertension as well as the right side of his heart is failing due to sleep apnea. As a result of these two conditions he had severe edema and was filling up with fluid. The medicine they gave him to urinate wasn’t helping, and they didn’t want to endanger his transplanted kidney with dialysis.

The most horrible moment was on a Saturday, we were visiting with him and he was struggling so hard to breath. It was as if he was suffocating right in front of us. They ended up putting the by-pap on him just to keep his lungs working. Since he couldn’t talk, we all said goodbye and left. I looked back through the door one more time, as if to say my final goodbye because I just didn’t feel good about his condition, he looked back with that thing on his face and I could see the fear in his eyes. We got a call later that night. He was moved to the ICU, and the doctor’s had pretty much written him off.

Long story short (too late), they ended up putting him on dialysis and taking a total 15 liters of water off of him in 3 days. It has been a long recovery, with a few times of being released from the hospital only to return again with something else… like ulcers in his stomach and esophagus. I think this last week has been his longest stint at home. He continues with his dialysis but they no longer have to take fluid off of him. His kidneys creatin levels are back to where they should be so he just might be able to get off of dialysis.

He’s a trooper although his tempter gets short and he tends to fly off the handle now and again. I can’t blame him, it’s not easy feeling like crap all the time, losing your freedom to drive because you take enough medication to choke a horse, and knowing what you want to say but the words won’t come out of your mouth.

I have a new understanding for the grumpy old men I encounter in the grocery store. So please, be a little more forgiving if an older person is grouchy towards you, take good care of yourself, and please if you aren’t already, give some thought to becoming an organ donor. You could save someone’s life.

That said, moving the database for my site over went well. Although I did a bit of an upgrade so things are a little bit wacky. If you notice something isn’t working or a link leads to no where, PLEASE let me know!

Oh and if you are looking for a web host, I highly recommend iPowerweb. If you should choose to go with them, please sign up by clicking on the banner located on the lower right of my website.. this way I get credit for the referral.

Thanks!

My only concern was being nauseous after the procedure, especially since they are working on my soft pallet. I get nauseous easily, I have to drive everywhere or I get car sick. Certain smells will make me vomit, and anesthesia sometimes makes me toss my cookies. I always make a point of expressing my concerns of vomiting after surgery. I must say, this particular anesthesiologist ROCKED! He actually listened and gave me a nifty patch behind my ear, which did the trick.

The doctor had said that the Uvulectomy is quite painful, perhaps like the worst sore throat of my life, I thought, piece of cake. For the record, between my motorcycle accident, and the tragic walking on ice accident that shattered my left foot, I have a high threshold for pain. (I walked on a shattered foot for 1 month because the ER didn’t x-ray my foot from the top, only from the sides).

Boy was I wrong!!! I have never, EVER felt so much pain in my life! It hurt to move, it hurt to swallow, it hurt to breath.. it fricken hurt to exist. Thank god the codeine knocked me out for that first week. And seriously, if I NEVER eat soup, apple sauce or pudding again it would be too soon. Although I still have a special fondness for the bomb-cicles.

A week after the surgery I went out with my girlfriends to a movie.. a bad idea in some ways. It was torture to smell that popcorn and not be able to have any. But it was fun to get out of the house and connect with the girls. My girlfriend Jenny wanted to see what it looked like to not have a Uvula. I never looked out of fear of becoming nauseous, so I let her take a peek.(Plus it hurt to open my mouth wide) She said, “You still have one, and it’s HUGE!” I was like “WHAT!?!?” . So we ran to the restroom to inspect and sure enough there was something dangling and it was larger than what it was before!

I was LIVID!!! That night when I tried to sleep, it felt as though I was swallowing it.. repeatedly. I called the Dr. first thing in the morning and they explained that they do indeed cut it out completely. But they also make 2 incisions on either side in the soft pallet, which at first makes it look like there is a Uvula, but once it heals it leaves a little nubbin, and the scarring from the incisions actually help pull the soft palate up and back, which makes the success rate much higher. I wish they would have explained that upfront. It’s not even called a Uvulectomy, it’s Palletectomy (sp?) but insurance companies do not cover it so they call it Uvulectomy. And just so you know, some insurance companies don’t cover the Uvulectomy either.

So here I am two weeks post op and I can kind of eat real food again, it only hurts to breath if the air is really cold (it’s winter time) and in the mornings after sleep. Which is another thing, I haven’t really slept through a whole night. I get up because I can’t breath and the whole feeling like I’m swallowing my Uvula thing.

The nose part wasn’t bad at all, even when he pulled out the stints.. yes I was nauseous but I think that it was more from the codeine and very little food in my tummy. There is the usual discomfort from healing, but the nasal sprays help a lot with that. I can tell you, I have a nose of a blood hound though. I can smell EVERYTHING. I mean everything!!! Sometimes, I get nauseous because I’m that sensitive to smell. I’ve got like a super bionic nose or something!

I feel badly for those who had to deal with me during the first week. My mom and dad, a very good friend and my boyfriend were all there for me, and for that I’m greatful! I appreciate their help and kindness, because lord knows IT WAS NOT PRETTY dealing with my drugged up ass!

It was the most painful procedure I’ve gone through, and once I’m healed completely I’ll let you know if it was worth it.

Next year it’s looking like St. Louis, I’m excited by this prospect..

So just to get it straight in my head here are my top 10 favorite cities…

1. Barcelona
2. San Francisco
3. Denver
4. Berlin
5. Santa Barbara
6. Chicago
7. Toronto
8. Vancouver
9. Omaha
10. Los Angeles

I need to travel more…

Well, I paid a visit to the dealership just to see what else was out there… I have had this feeling that my truck was going to take a turn for the worse and I just didn’t want to deal. Alfonzo my dealer kept pushing the Scion XB on me. Previously, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at it. But this time I said why not, I test drove that puppy and a million other cars and I LOVED it! It was fun to drive and funny looking!

I borrowed it for a weekend and smiled and giggled every time I laid eyes on it. My daughter liked it too since it was much easier for her to get in and out of. The gas mileage was incredible, it was surprisingly roomy for its size, and the sticker price and warranty couldn’t be beat.

I bought that sucker! And as I get all the funny looks as I drive down the street, I laugh back because I know pretty soon they will have to take out a loan to pay for their gas! Not me! I plan to run this thing into the ground, and eventually make it an art car to promote my fine art, which I still have not posted on this site yet.

Anyway, it’s quite the adjustment going from this:

To this:

But it sure feels good on the ole budget!